the dad and his dolly

He runs through the door and looks for her. Is she in her bassinet, where he left her earlier? He finds her, picks her up, and squeezes her tight because it's been so long. It's been since like, 8:00 in the morning.

He talks to her, wipes up her cheeks when needed, changes her diapers, gives her baths, swings her around the room in his arms, and swaddles her in blankets.

He is a dad with his own little dolly and he is in heaven.

Ryan has wanted a babe of his own for quite some time now. We were once in a pretty serious conversation soon after he returned from Spain and I from Israel - I asked him, "Okay, so what was the hardest part of your mission?"

"Hmm..." he paused, sincerely thinking the whole two years through. "I couldn't hold babies."

Ryan teases me that we are going to have 10 children because he loves babies so. I quickly and seriously reply that we are only having three because growing a child takes. so. long. (the growing part, I've learned, really starts after the birth and it lasts for...um, forever). But, honestly, with a husband and father like Ryan, we really would make it - me and that bus load of children...(but for real, Ryan, we're not having ten!)

Last Sunday he loved on Olivia all day. As he did, I made us a real dinner, I did all the dishes, and I admired them from a close distance.

When Olivia was ready for her siesta I heard him tell her, "Okay let's go take a nap together, Olivia! I've wanted to do this all week."

After the back rooms were quiet for some time, I stopped doing the dishes and went to see what was going on. I came upon them as so, the bedroom light still on because there was no time to switch it before sleep came to them both. I didn't think that Olivia would go through with it, but the darling little dolly did and her dad was so happy. Dream come true right there.

I love this little friendship - this bond that has already forged between the tiny, little daughter and the big, strong father. Ryan loves Olivia, and Olivia loves him back. I can see it when she turns her head toward his voice upon his entrance to the room, eyes focused and ears intent on listening to him. Watching my husband father our sweet daughter has been a very sweet part of this transition for me. That true love that he has for her is in his eyes, it's in his smile...seeing it brings me the greatest peace. 

And I think it brings her the greatest happiness. Yep, that dolly loves her dad.

salt or pepper...

40 weeks on the left :: Bursting for his little girl on the right

Sweet baby girl,

What do you look like? 

Are your fingers short like mom's or long like dad's

Is your skin fair like mom's or olive like dad's

Will you be a chubby babe like mama or long and lean like dad

dark blonde or dark brown

eyes blue or hazel

are you salt or pepper...

or both?

Come on down here to planet earth and we'll find out!

You're 40 weeks old now, so it's okay to come.

Brimming with too much anticipation to see your perfection,

love love love,

mama & dad

Dear Olivia,

Your father says that you bring out the best in me,

 but, clearly, you bring out the best in him.

Let me explain. 

Dad and I hung curtains yesterday because we want our little home to be more beautiful. It needs to be worthy of you. Granted, it will never be the kind of palace that a little queen like you deserves, but we've tried to make it feel lovely, bright, and clean like the heaven you are coming from. More than that, we've been trying every day to make our home feel like the heaven that you're used to. We want you to love love love being with us. 

I was looking at those curtains during lunch today - I loved the bright light that was coming through them. Wanting to catch the bright, white light, I decided to take a picture. Dad heard me snapping and snapping (I don't really know how to take pictures yet, so I have to take a lot in order to get a good one - you'll learn all about practicing things when you get here), and when I turned to him and said, "Ryan will you come here and stand in front of the window?" he walked right over and struck that pose. 

He knew exactly what I was thinking - 'I wonder what kind of silhouette the light through the curtains would create of Olivia and me...we're 38 weeks and we haven't taken a picture yet...' - which is why he took center stage, mid-bite of his banana, and poked out his lowest ab as best he could so that I could "catch the vision."

I burst into laughter. Dad even posed his face: soft eyes and solemn smile, because this is such serious business... :)

Dad will make you laugh and laugh, Olivia. You will adore your father. Promise.

We are anxious for you to get here. When are you coming? We've cleaned and organized. We've washed and folded. We've paced, and we'll probably pace some more. 

We love you. So very much.

Godspeed, angel girl.

xoxo

your mama

our normal and different wednesday

normal: it's late Wednesday night and Ryan's just getting home from work

normal: Ryan looks good in his suit and tie, regardless of the late hour
normal: Jeni looks raggedy in her top-knot
normal: it's time for food again because we're both hungry
different: we photograph this seemingly insignificant occurrence of our not-so-flashy normal life

Last night's unexpected photo shoot of us simply eating cantaloupe together was the most spontaneous I've ever been with a camera, especially during our time thus far as just "Ryan and Jeni." As Ryan and I enjoyed our evening snack, I asked him if we could put the timer on the camera and "just take some pics?"

"Sure!" he said. And so we did. With the continuous timer set, we captured the normal fun that we have together which is why the pictures are neither pretty nor impressive, but they're real.

I think I wanted to document us for just a second in "normal life" because throughout the whole day I was feeling so different.

Examples:

Ryan bought his books for fall semester, and I didn't. For the first time in 14 years, I'm not starting school in late August because technically I'm no longer a student. I'm considered alumni...that's different.

Our OB gave us the very happy news that Olivia is making good progress toward delivery, but it hit me: Olivia is, um, really going to be here. Soon there will be another living, breathing, human around here with her own set of needs and dreams. AKA, I'm going to be "mom." That's going to be different.

It's still August and the leaves are already changing on our mountain - and they're changing quickly. Different.

Ryan and I will our mesh roles of husband-wife and father-mother. That will be wonderful, but we've never done that before, so that transition will be different.

But, then again, my heart said to my head as I thought about our pending changes, our simple life can still be pretty normal.

Examples:

Ryan will come home to us every day, which will be more exciting than Christmas morning. That feeling is oh so normal.

Even though I graduated, I haven't stopped learning. This summer has been largely spent satisfying many of my curiosities, and I have a lot more questions about how this works, how that works, how to do this, how to do that. I hope to always research my questions and learn new things. Life-long learning - for everyone, I think - is normal.

It's still August and I'm already wanting a little bit of Autumn around here: crisp air, beautiful color, apples, and pumpkin. Normal.

Olivia is already a part of our family. We know a little about her nature and we love love love her....adjusting to her the responsibility of satisfying her needs by us both as "mom and dad" will probably be much more normal than we think.

So serve us up some changes! We wouldn't grow otherwise. Yes, we'll take some big scoops of different flavors this season, but they'll be sprinkled with all that is not-so-flashy, normal, and wonderful about our life, and surely the whole mixture will end up tasting sweet. 

DIY: recliner reupholstery

The old brown recliner had just the right amount of creek in its rock. It was soft and gushy. And it was free. How could we resist? 

Some friends of ours didn't have room in their new apartment for the chair, and we were the lucky ones chosen to be its new owners. My friend originally had a darker blue, more "boy-ish" slip cover on it, and for a while I thought we would use it, too, until we decided to be industriously creative: Ryan and I decided to reupholster that old recliner ourselves.

(P.S. We weren't in school, it would save us some money, we wanted a good, gender-neutral rocker for little babe, etc):

I researched how to reupholster furniture beforehand to get an idea of where to begin. YouTube was helpful for tutorials, and of course, I turned to Pinterest with this search: "diy recliner reupholster." That led to me this tutorial, which was helpful, but I thought I would document our experience and put it to its own DIY tune.

*Disclaimer: this project takes A LOT of time. It isn't too hard to do - it will take a ton of pulling out staples, pulling fabric into place, holding fabric in place, and stapling x1000 - but it takes time. And I HIGHLY recommend working on it with someone else, especially your strong husband. We spent about 30 hours total over a month-long period (summer vacays got in the way, and the Olympics, and other things that sounded more fun...), so give yourself some time to work this baby out.

Introducing, the tutorial!

Step 1: Gather materials

- staple gun (with a pack of at least 1000 staples - we really did use all 1,000!)
- hot glue gun (used for those tricky places where staples can't/shouldn't be seen)
- measuring tape
- at least 6 yards of sturdy fabric (we used just under 6 yards of a duck cloth canvas so that stretching and stapling would be easier)
- pliers for pulling off the old fabric and for pulling out old nails
- a 12 inch needle - or an old hanger, snapped in half! - for threading buttons back into your chair (if necessary)
- endurance, motivation, lots of desire, time time time, an amazing, handy-man husband - I would have not been able to do this without my Ryan

Step 2: Take pictures of the original chair
...of every part of the original chair. Do this throughout the entire process of taking it apart and putting it back together. You need the pictures as guidelines when putting the new fabric on and the parts back together.

Step 3: Tear that chair apart! 
Start by removing the back. Save any original hardware from the chair (screws, nails, etc.) and label the hardware parts both on the original chair, if possible, and on a sticky note that will stay with the piece of hardware until you put the chair back together. As you take the chair apart, remove the old fabric - remember, taking pictures of everything along the way!

Important note: Save the old fabric! Now please see Step 4.

Step 4: Cut fabric pieces out of new fabric
You should have "naked" pieces of the old chair all over your living room which is a good thing - you're half-way there! Use the old fabric pieces as patterns for the new pieces: just place the old fabric on the new, trace, and cut. It is quite easy, actually, to tell how to reupholster the chair and put it back together when it is in pieces - never fear! (P.S. be sure to iron your new fabric pieces before reupholstering them).

Step 5: Recover the chair pieces with the new fabric
If you're not-so-awesome like us, pull, stretch, and staple your fabric around the chair pieces. If you are so awesome like someone else out there, you will probably sew your fabric pieces together to, literally, fit the chair like a glove.

As first-timers (and because I'm not an awesome seamstress), we pulled, stretched, and stapled our fabric, and man we had a blast doing it! This project was hard, but it was so much fun to work on something together. Hard, sweaty work done with your husband is oh so good.

*I won't post our pics of every part of the process...that would make this tutorial way too long and very boring

the chair back, all wrapped up like a present

 the corner pleats on the chair back

one of the arms

Step 5.5 : Install buttons (only follow if needed, of course)

Cover the old buttons with your new fabric. Reattach the back of the chair to the seat. Using your needle, or homemade hanger-needle, push and pull the buttons through the back cushion. I found this tutorial to be helpful here (skip to 3:00). 

Here's our clothes-hanger-reupholstery needle. You can also buy the real thing, but we're cheap, remember? :) 

Step 7: Wipe the sweat from your brow...

High-five your man, then kiss him, sigh with relief, and have a seat. Now rock back and forth, back and forth...

The bill: 

Fabric (purchased on sale at Joann's) - $35

Pack of 1000 super-duty staples - $4

Package of hot glue - $4

Package of cushion stuffing, just to puff up the beauty a little more - $7

Reupholstery success, accomplished with your best friend - priceless, right?
Enjoy!

wedding day

 

July 29, 2011, was everything we hoped it would be: simple and beautiful. 

I am sure we'll be grateful for forever to everyone (and there were soo very many family members and friends) who made our wedding day dreams a reality.

(p.s. choosing which pictures to share from the thousands of our day was a challenge! Our wedding day was more than perfect!)

...

photos: mikki platt

invitiation & details: kortney eggertz

homemade ice cream & waffers: the shaw family

flowers: my sweet mother, aunts, & friends