salt or pepper...

40 weeks on the left :: Bursting for his little girl on the right

Sweet baby girl,

What do you look like? 

Are your fingers short like mom's or long like dad's

Is your skin fair like mom's or olive like dad's

Will you be a chubby babe like mama or long and lean like dad

dark blonde or dark brown

eyes blue or hazel

are you salt or pepper...

or both?

Come on down here to planet earth and we'll find out!

You're 40 weeks old now, so it's okay to come.

Brimming with too much anticipation to see your perfection,

love love love,

mama & dad

the bump funnies of week 39

week 39

Anxiousness for Olivia's arrival and my new, incredible size at week 39 has spurred some interesting conversations in this second-to-last week (hopefully!) of Olivia's stay in the womb. Can't wait for this little beauty to make her appearance so that talking about her (or with her, in my case) can be a real-life experience... 

Lolly Loves Olivia

Lolly (aka Lauren, my oldest sister's four-year-old daughter): Olivia Olivia I love you so much (kiss kiss kiss of the bump) you are just a little baby (rubbing of the nose on the bump) when are you going to be born, tomorrow?

(Noticing me for the first time, as if I've just encroached on the moment, said in an exasperated tone) Jeni when is Olivia going to be born?!

Me: Hopefully so soon! Maybe in just a few days?

Lolly: Ugh. Fine.

#endofstory #seeyabye

Costco Box Man

Me: May I have this boxed, please? And can you balance the box between the handle of the cart and the top of the little backrest of the seat? 

Box Man (said smiling, not condescendingly): Ohh so you're one of those picky people, aren't you...

Me (smiling back, he obviously can't see, standing behind the register, that I'm great with child): Yes, actually, I am one of those picky pregnant people. 

Box Man: Ohh oh oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you were pregnant (I step out from behind the register to receive the grocery cart: side view tells all)...oh yeah, okay yeah you are definitely pregnant. I'm really sorry about that. 

Me: No prob! Serious! 

#blesshisheart #classic

Elderly Gentleman (also at Costco, just prior to Box Man convo)

The Gentleman (voice a little shaky with age): Whennn's that little boy going to pop outta there?

Me (considered clarifying the gender assumption, decided against it after weighing the option): Within about 10 days!

The Gentleman (wheeze of laughter): Hallelujah! Just don't give him away...

#promiseiwon't #lovemylittleboy

Walmart Cashier Girl

Cashier Girl: Oh so you're pregnant? When are you due?

Ryan & Me: Next week.

Cashier Girl: Your lives are going to change, do you know that?

Ryan & Me (look at each other, smile): We bet! Do you have any kids?

Cashier Girl: No! I like, don't want to go through the whole poopy diaper thing and the labor, bleh, and the puking! But your lives are SO totally going to change, OH my gosh. 

Ryan & Me (picking up the sack to leave): Yes, they will! We're so excited.

Cashier Girl (literally calling after us): Change change change! Do you know it? Your lives!...

Ryan: For real? My life's going to change? Get out...

#howneatwasthat? #pleasewatchNeaturerightnow

Good times. I can only imagine the incredibly better ones ahead, because although pregnancy clearly has potential to be funny, kids are genuinely hilarious.

#anydaynow

Dear Olivia,

Your father says that you bring out the best in me,

 but, clearly, you bring out the best in him.

Let me explain. 

Dad and I hung curtains yesterday because we want our little home to be more beautiful. It needs to be worthy of you. Granted, it will never be the kind of palace that a little queen like you deserves, but we've tried to make it feel lovely, bright, and clean like the heaven you are coming from. More than that, we've been trying every day to make our home feel like the heaven that you're used to. We want you to love love love being with us. 

I was looking at those curtains during lunch today - I loved the bright light that was coming through them. Wanting to catch the bright, white light, I decided to take a picture. Dad heard me snapping and snapping (I don't really know how to take pictures yet, so I have to take a lot in order to get a good one - you'll learn all about practicing things when you get here), and when I turned to him and said, "Ryan will you come here and stand in front of the window?" he walked right over and struck that pose. 

He knew exactly what I was thinking - 'I wonder what kind of silhouette the light through the curtains would create of Olivia and me...we're 38 weeks and we haven't taken a picture yet...' - which is why he took center stage, mid-bite of his banana, and poked out his lowest ab as best he could so that I could "catch the vision."

I burst into laughter. Dad even posed his face: soft eyes and solemn smile, because this is such serious business... :)

Dad will make you laugh and laugh, Olivia. You will adore your father. Promise.

We are anxious for you to get here. When are you coming? We've cleaned and organized. We've washed and folded. We've paced, and we'll probably pace some more. 

We love you. So very much.

Godspeed, angel girl.

xoxo

your mama

my most preferred, pregnancy edition

Olivia's arrival is soo close...I'm amazed at how far we have come! Now that my view of my pregnancy is largely retrospective, it is easy to see that these little aids have done big things for my happiness and well-being while carrying sweet baby. Here's a list of my top six, most preferred products for pregnancy. 

1. my berry blend. Bless the existence of berries! I indulge in a frozen berry blend of blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries almost daily. I pop a bowl in the microwave for 50ish seconds, swirl it around with some milk and cinnamon, and I am refreshed! I may have loved this so much because I've had a pregnancy during hot summer months, but regardless, berries have tasted so good and they've been good for my body: dark berries reduce swelling in the body and they are a "safe" sweet.
I say that because my OB taught me early on that all pregnant women become insulin resistant to an extent - some worse than others. That means that high-glucose foods (aka sugar, white flours, etc.) become harder for the body to digest, and eventually those foods can get stored away by the body and turned into fat. I definitely still have my treats, but day-to-day, indulging in berries has proven to be the best of both worlds: good to my body and to my sweet taste buds.

2. pure lavender oil. This has been heavenly for two things: stretch marks and sleep trouble. I learned before my pregnancy that lavender oil makes the skin more elastic, so I jumped on this oil around 27ish weeks when I noticed my very first stretch marks. I mixed just 1-2 drops of the oil with some massage oil and rubbed it on those first stretch marks, and guess what...they disappeared! Of course I'm way bigger now, and even so, no more stretch marks have appeared as I've continued to apply just a little bit every day.
Regarding sleep, lavender's scent is calming, so it's been helpful to smell when a midnight run to the bathroom turns into an hour of tossing and turning. I been helped to drift back to sleep more than a few times after taking some deep "lavender" breaths. It has been so helpful (p.s. I definitely prefer DoTerra's brand. It's 100% pure lavender - no fillers! - making it even more heavenly).

3. yoga - of every type. Prenatal, vinyasa flows (aka "one breath, one movement"), power yoga (faster paced & tougher poses) - all of the types of yoga out there have been so great to my body. YogaDownload.com has some awesome sessions via podcast, and they are only about 25 minutes long on average. Yoga has been my primary source of exercise since about week 34, and it has been perfect for my tired muscles and joints. My body feels so long and lean afterward, too, which is a happy comparison to the typical swollen and puffy feel that is so common in pregnancy.

4. water, and lots of it. My reasons for this one are simple: water does everything that is good for you. That's all :) Although, as a very thirsty (even in the middle of the night at times) pregnant lady, I have been more grateful for my Camelbak water bottle than ever before. I've used one of these bottles for years, but yes, it's been the best to have right by my side whenever thirstiness hits.

5. physique57. Where do I start with Physique?...it is so amazing. I started doing Physique57 during my junior year of college when both my mind and body were in dire need of a new, truly effective way to exercise. I researched the Physqiue57 method a lot before investing in the DVDs - I did not want to be disappointed! - and man, disappointment is the last thing to be associated with this workout.
The workouts are tough tough tough, no matter your fitness level, which makes it so awesome for everyone, even us pregnant ladies. The Thigh & Seat Booster DVD is the only segment of the DVDs left in my weekly workouts, but even that one, 30-minute workout is enough! I attribute so much of my pregnant body's health to Physique57. Love. (P.S. Physique 57 is soo effective. I cannot emphasize that enough!)

6. deep blue oil blend. This blend of essential oils is unique to DoTerra, and my Christmas wish this year is that everyone in the world will have a bottle of it at home. The oil is meant to aid sore, torn muscles, but it also relieves headaches - particularly migraines. When I was getting daily migraines during finals week, this was amazingly effective. All I did was rub a couple drops across my forehead and on my neck, lay down for a little nap, and voila! - the migraines left within an hour - each one of them. Whenever I have even the slightest tension in my head, I use this and am almost instantly relieved. And oh how grateful I am for that...you can't take a lot of medicine as a pregnant lady. Its peppermint, wintergreen scent is so relaxing, as well. I love this product.

Hopefully this list can help some other pregnant ladies, too (or those of you soon-to-be!). My pregnant life has been much much happier with them around. If you have an awesome pregnancy lifesaver or a product in general that boosts your heath and happiness - do tell in the comments. I still have 3.5 weeks to go, and I can only imagine that this last stretch is the biggest, tightest, squishiest, one of all...woohoo! Here we go!

my pregnancy: the first 10 thoughts

week 36

This is my baby girl, Olivia.

She is so sweet and so fun to be with. 

I can say that because we have spent every day together during the last eight months. During that time, Olivia's little body has grown so much physically - which means mine has grown more :) And although my physical growth has been definitely substantial, my spiritual, mental, and emotional growth has been even greater.

Olivia has taught me that pregnancy isn't the terrible, awful, no good, very bad experience that I used to think it would be. Rather, carrying Olivia has taught me these 10 things about pregnancy (in order of what comes to mind first), with number one being this: 1) pregnancy can be so very good. 

2) Heavenly Father sincerely cares about my well-being as I help another one of His children have a body. He wants me to be happy and to enjoy the miracle of nurturing someone else with your whole heart and soul. 

3) That said, I've found that this promise is real and it works. 

4) Set goals. It's okay to have high hopes and desires for a healthy, happy pregnancy! I learned that it's okay to want to feel good about myself while pregnant. I decided to set some lofty goals for my pregnant self (like exercising every day), and goals we set for ourselves can be reached: please see number 5.

5) Praying about your hopes, dreams, and goals gives you these things that are vital to achieving a goal: desire to try, motivation to keep trying, and optimism when circumstances change. 

6) Exercising is amazing. Even though I now jog instead of run (although my "jogging" is the same as another woman's light walking), that time of moving, thinking, and breathing is relaxing and relieving. 

7) Stress is terrible. Any physical "ailment" I have had while being pregnant has been caused by stress. Example A: I had nasty migraines daily during my last finals week at BYU; I haven't been sick at any other time. Example B: last week I got an incredible cold sore as I let myself dwell on how much money a baby costs...I haven't had a cold sore for months. 

8) Yes, stress stinks. I have had to learn to let go of very many things - little worries and big ones - that I don't need to hold on to just to preserve Olivia and me - and Ryan (bless his heart!) from the awful thing called stress. 

9) Big changes that have come to my dear body are, actually, really good. I remember running one day when I suddenly felt how much my hips were jumping from side to side...whoa, I had never felt so large! But then I had to make myself think, "And yet, I am still moving! And bigger hips means bigger baby. Keep growing baby girl!" These were thoughts that I had to choose to think, but nonetheless, thinking them helped a lot. 

10) Although these eight months of pregnancy have been so happy overall, they have not been without moments of feeling very, very scared...my life is changing in ways I will never be able to perceive. But I have to remind myself of this: that is what I thought four months ago, when I didn't know how my life would be different when I was eight months pregnant, and guess what - now I am eight months pregnant and life is still good!

Yes, unknowns lay ahead and there is so much I can't see, but I have learned to trust: life will be good despite what is out of sight. Life can always be so very good.