these simple words saved my bacon

Sometimes the simplest things make the biggest, happiest differences.

Olivia smiles at me and I cheer like I've just won Wimbledon - she's cognitively functioning and, better yet, she likes me.

I make a real meal for dinner and mine and Ryan's bodies give a cheer - finally something more than eggs on toast.

Exercising, showering, and getting fully dressed (the icing on the cake!) all before my baby wakes up from her morning nap - that's worth a whole cheer routine because those productive mornings are awesome.

About three weeks ago, my mother-in-law introduced me to this special on Oprah whose message is one of the most simple out there: learn the tiny words your babe is using to speak to you, and then rejoice that you two can communicate.

I was a little skeptical at the theory, but, I cannot tell a lie - it's true! The simple baby words this amazing lady teaches in this video work when working with your little one.

I initially watched this about six times in a row to really understand the sounds she teaches, and the rest of my day was more than enlightening, if not a little overwhelming. That day Olivia had super burps - all I heard all day was "Eh! Eh! Eh!/ Burp me! Burp me! Burp me!" - but at least I knew what she wanted.

Now that I speak her language, Olivia really thinks that I'm awesome. Our days have been much much smoother since I've better realized what she needs. 

Motherhood - sure makes you appreciate the simplicities of life like this, eh? 

Enjoy!

inventory one

"As I have reviewed the past 49 years, I have made some discoveries. One is that countless experiences I have had were not necessarily those one would consider extraordinary. In fact, at the time they transpired, they often seemed unremarkable and even ordinary. And yet in retrospect, they enriched and blessed lives - not the least of which was my own.

I would recommend this same exercise to you - namely, that you take an inventory of your life and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, you have received."

- Thomas S. Monson

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Blessing: my new best friend.

She's hilarious.

And she sings with me. 

I love being with Olivia.

Olivia has worked on me - I am her improvement project here. Do you know what she did? She melted my heart and reshaped it. She made it bigger so that it has more room to be loved and to love back.

Best friends are those that make you better people, aren't they? Knowing that, there is no doubt that Olivia is already one of my dearest, best friends.

What will she do next, I wonder, to this woman? One thing is certain - that angel will do more for me than I ever will for her.

Olivia is beautiful, and I am thrilled to be her mother.

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Blessing: I like my office. 

It's neither large nor luxurious, and sometimes it subs as my laundry room when I hang my clothes to dry in its closet. But it's bright and cozy. We don't need much more than what it offers. 

please forgive my amateur photo taking and editing skills :)

Spending most of my days at home with my darling would be much harder if I didn't like it here, so I'm grateful for everything that our home is, particularly Olivia's room. 

Grateful for comfy furniture. Grateful for fake flowers and paper garland. Grateful for bright colors and a window's light. 

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Blessing: I am a married mother. 

I hear that a large number of women these days have to mother without having a husband to help. I ache for them. Really, I do. It hurts to think about doing the daily, 24-hour grind of mothering all alone...it is so not easy.

Ryan listens to me when I worry that I may not be strong enough for this - I would be a fraud of a mother if I pretended that I don't feel that way at times. But when I finish my teary thoughts, he reminds me that I am. He kisses my forehead, and "You are beautiful," he says.

And I keep going. 

There isn't a sweeter father and there isn't a better husband - there isn't for Olivia and me, at least. My gratitude stretches to the moon and back that he is eternally mine. 

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Inventory one - done. 

But due to the nature of my life, there are many more to come.

giving some thanks

I love November. 

My Grandpa Gubler turns one year older each November. This year he turned 80 and all the family gathered to celebrate. 

My grandpa and grandma are darling. There are more than a few pictures through the years of my Grandma flashing a beautiful smile while my Grandpa looks down at her (literally) with doting eyes. He is a cattle man, and she wears pearls while she cooks and cleans. They are the perfect pair. 

Emily was called on a mission this November (wish I had my own picture of it!). She's off to New York City in just two months. Aunt Em is leaving Olivia and me with huge shoes to fill, as she is the only daughter in that family of eight. But, clearly, our darling babe will do a good job of filling at least part of the girl-void that Em will leave behind. 

The Awerkamps loved on Olivia. I think "babies" and "love" are the same thing to all of them - evidenced by their family of eight children, and in the desire of Ryan, BJ, and Emily, at least, to have large families of their own. Olivia loved their attention. She jabbed and jabbed as they ooed and ahhed at her and petted her. She was in heaven!

November also brings my older brother, Shandon, a birthday. To celebrate, we ate pancakes with buttermilk syrup in his honor, and he specially feasted on the red birthday plate while drinking a zuka-made-by-dad in the red birthday cup. That's tradition. 

There's no one on earth quite like Shandon. He is smart and so hardworking. We went around the table and said what we love about him, and my dad couldn't stop talking about the "Mr. Fix-it" and "Mr. Builder" that Shandon has always been. No wonder he is studying to become a master builder of homes...I'm so impressed with his desire to fulfill a dream and to do so in the best way he can. 

Shandon is the genius behind our family's themed parties each holiday season (i.e. Ugly Stache & Sweater Party & Redneck Party) because Shandon is funny. I love his made-up words and his ballads for TJ - I often hear him singing his own welcome home song to TJ boy across the way as the day ends. I love my brother! He is a wonderful father, brother, and friend. 

This November also brought us Olivia's first bath! 

Okay big jk. Olivia has been bathed every day of her life on earth thus far.

These pics just show that I got to be in my sweet mother's presence again over the weekend as I took care of my baby. Oh how I love seeing my mom's hands around her little body. Olivia feels as safe and happy in them as I do - she told me so :) 

Cheers to this blessed month of November! I have felt a new and improved type of gratitude growing in my heart throughout its days so far. 

I am so grateful for family - they mean everything to me. Becoming a little mama myself has helped me turn and see more clearly how much my family has done in making me "me," and for that, I give a little praise to my every aunt, grandparent, cousin, uncle, brother, sister, and to my mother and father:  you're all wonderful, do you know it?

Grazie. Merci. Danke. 

Thanks.

dear ms. time

Dear Ms. Time,

Olivia's button nose - I've noticed that it has moved a bit. Now it's fastened a little lower down her face because the bridge of her nose has lengthened. 

Olivia's legs - now they have four rolls on each one of them. I have to try a little harder to clean her up with diaper changes. 

My darling feels heavier. 

Olivia's clothes - they're being switched around. Some "nb's" are gone and unfamiliar "3's" have replaced them. 

Olivia's eyes - their color is deep blue. They were once just dark, and her eyelids were thick and full surrounding them. 

Ms. Time, what are you doing? My darling and I just met, and yet you've already made my moments with her foggy. You are whizzing around us, speeding up ahead, and leaving me - her mother - behind in a blur. 

You must not be a mother, Ms. Time, otherwise you would pity me, and you would slow down a bit. Just show me some mercy when she is really old, when she is going to move out and move on. Slow down then and make our moments together long, because right now they're already too short.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jeni, the young lady that will cradle her baby for as long as you will allow