Dear Olivia,

Your father says that you bring out the best in me,

 but, clearly, you bring out the best in him.

Let me explain. 

Dad and I hung curtains yesterday because we want our little home to be more beautiful. It needs to be worthy of you. Granted, it will never be the kind of palace that a little queen like you deserves, but we've tried to make it feel lovely, bright, and clean like the heaven you are coming from. More than that, we've been trying every day to make our home feel like the heaven that you're used to. We want you to love love love being with us. 

I was looking at those curtains during lunch today - I loved the bright light that was coming through them. Wanting to catch the bright, white light, I decided to take a picture. Dad heard me snapping and snapping (I don't really know how to take pictures yet, so I have to take a lot in order to get a good one - you'll learn all about practicing things when you get here), and when I turned to him and said, "Ryan will you come here and stand in front of the window?" he walked right over and struck that pose. 

He knew exactly what I was thinking - 'I wonder what kind of silhouette the light through the curtains would create of Olivia and me...we're 38 weeks and we haven't taken a picture yet...' - which is why he took center stage, mid-bite of his banana, and poked out his lowest ab as best he could so that I could "catch the vision."

I burst into laughter. Dad even posed his face: soft eyes and solemn smile, because this is such serious business... :)

Dad will make you laugh and laugh, Olivia. You will adore your father. Promise.

We are anxious for you to get here. When are you coming? We've cleaned and organized. We've washed and folded. We've paced, and we'll probably pace some more. 

We love you. So very much.

Godspeed, angel girl.

xoxo

your mama

a library memory

I was a freshman, it was still the beginning of fall semester, but midterms were already approaching. I was studying in one of the most inspiring, magical places of the library for me: the Periodicals.

This was the view ahead of me, from this very table. My view then was nearly the same - just add about ten other students scattered between the rest of the tables. All of them were either skimming a textbook, drooling on the desk, or looking bleary-eyed at their lapstop screen in front of them. 

This is what I saw to my side, but add about two more people in those black chairs. They were both sleeping, knees curled up to their chests and necks completely flopped to the side. Brigham stared down at me then just as he is in the picture, which at the time, kind of annoyed me because 

this was the thought that crowded my mind: 

"Bleh. College stinks." 

So negative, I know. I was already so overwhelmed with it all. Midterms approached, research needed analysis, reports had to be written, a quiz needed extra studying for, my stomach ached for real, good food...cereal was already old. 

Then, the switch flipped in my mind. I'm not sure what thought came that made me realize who and where I was - finally a legitimate college student at BYU, studying real-live research down in the Periodicals,  of all the beautiful places on this planet! - but the blues of college-life realities indeed left me. Once again, I felt that magical sense of being (or at least trying to be) a scholar and I was inspired to just keep going.

I was drawn downstairs to the Periodicals early on as a student. Its many bookshelves housed colorful bound books, printed with a font that looked so '70's to me - I thought of my parents and their time at BYU when I saw them. And the bookshelves - they moved! I remember seeing someone shift the shelves for the first time and thinking, "Okay Hogwarts...seriously? Am I really here? Is this really my library?" 

The whole atmosphere of the Periodicals amazed me. Studying in that section of the library always revamped my desire to really study and learn, especially after "waking up" down there that day in the fall of 2009.

So ode to one of my favorite places on campus: you're even brighter and more magical to me today than all those days before. 

(They are already remodeling and changing the places I loved on campus - hence the upturned tables - so I am glad to be capturing the BYU I knew while I still can!)

our normal and different wednesday

normal: it's late Wednesday night and Ryan's just getting home from work

normal: Ryan looks good in his suit and tie, regardless of the late hour
normal: Jeni looks raggedy in her top-knot
normal: it's time for food again because we're both hungry
different: we photograph this seemingly insignificant occurrence of our not-so-flashy normal life

Last night's unexpected photo shoot of us simply eating cantaloupe together was the most spontaneous I've ever been with a camera, especially during our time thus far as just "Ryan and Jeni." As Ryan and I enjoyed our evening snack, I asked him if we could put the timer on the camera and "just take some pics?"

"Sure!" he said. And so we did. With the continuous timer set, we captured the normal fun that we have together which is why the pictures are neither pretty nor impressive, but they're real.

I think I wanted to document us for just a second in "normal life" because throughout the whole day I was feeling so different.

Examples:

Ryan bought his books for fall semester, and I didn't. For the first time in 14 years, I'm not starting school in late August because technically I'm no longer a student. I'm considered alumni...that's different.

Our OB gave us the very happy news that Olivia is making good progress toward delivery, but it hit me: Olivia is, um, really going to be here. Soon there will be another living, breathing, human around here with her own set of needs and dreams. AKA, I'm going to be "mom." That's going to be different.

It's still August and the leaves are already changing on our mountain - and they're changing quickly. Different.

Ryan and I will our mesh roles of husband-wife and father-mother. That will be wonderful, but we've never done that before, so that transition will be different.

But, then again, my heart said to my head as I thought about our pending changes, our simple life can still be pretty normal.

Examples:

Ryan will come home to us every day, which will be more exciting than Christmas morning. That feeling is oh so normal.

Even though I graduated, I haven't stopped learning. This summer has been largely spent satisfying many of my curiosities, and I have a lot more questions about how this works, how that works, how to do this, how to do that. I hope to always research my questions and learn new things. Life-long learning - for everyone, I think - is normal.

It's still August and I'm already wanting a little bit of Autumn around here: crisp air, beautiful color, apples, and pumpkin. Normal.

Olivia is already a part of our family. We know a little about her nature and we love love love her....adjusting to her the responsibility of satisfying her needs by us both as "mom and dad" will probably be much more normal than we think.

So serve us up some changes! We wouldn't grow otherwise. Yes, we'll take some big scoops of different flavors this season, but they'll be sprinkled with all that is not-so-flashy, normal, and wonderful about our life, and surely the whole mixture will end up tasting sweet. 

my most preferred, pregnancy edition

Olivia's arrival is soo close...I'm amazed at how far we have come! Now that my view of my pregnancy is largely retrospective, it is easy to see that these little aids have done big things for my happiness and well-being while carrying sweet baby. Here's a list of my top six, most preferred products for pregnancy. 

1. my berry blend. Bless the existence of berries! I indulge in a frozen berry blend of blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries almost daily. I pop a bowl in the microwave for 50ish seconds, swirl it around with some milk and cinnamon, and I am refreshed! I may have loved this so much because I've had a pregnancy during hot summer months, but regardless, berries have tasted so good and they've been good for my body: dark berries reduce swelling in the body and they are a "safe" sweet.
I say that because my OB taught me early on that all pregnant women become insulin resistant to an extent - some worse than others. That means that high-glucose foods (aka sugar, white flours, etc.) become harder for the body to digest, and eventually those foods can get stored away by the body and turned into fat. I definitely still have my treats, but day-to-day, indulging in berries has proven to be the best of both worlds: good to my body and to my sweet taste buds.

2. pure lavender oil. This has been heavenly for two things: stretch marks and sleep trouble. I learned before my pregnancy that lavender oil makes the skin more elastic, so I jumped on this oil around 27ish weeks when I noticed my very first stretch marks. I mixed just 1-2 drops of the oil with some massage oil and rubbed it on those first stretch marks, and guess what...they disappeared! Of course I'm way bigger now, and even so, no more stretch marks have appeared as I've continued to apply just a little bit every day.
Regarding sleep, lavender's scent is calming, so it's been helpful to smell when a midnight run to the bathroom turns into an hour of tossing and turning. I been helped to drift back to sleep more than a few times after taking some deep "lavender" breaths. It has been so helpful (p.s. I definitely prefer DoTerra's brand. It's 100% pure lavender - no fillers! - making it even more heavenly).

3. yoga - of every type. Prenatal, vinyasa flows (aka "one breath, one movement"), power yoga (faster paced & tougher poses) - all of the types of yoga out there have been so great to my body. YogaDownload.com has some awesome sessions via podcast, and they are only about 25 minutes long on average. Yoga has been my primary source of exercise since about week 34, and it has been perfect for my tired muscles and joints. My body feels so long and lean afterward, too, which is a happy comparison to the typical swollen and puffy feel that is so common in pregnancy.

4. water, and lots of it. My reasons for this one are simple: water does everything that is good for you. That's all :) Although, as a very thirsty (even in the middle of the night at times) pregnant lady, I have been more grateful for my Camelbak water bottle than ever before. I've used one of these bottles for years, but yes, it's been the best to have right by my side whenever thirstiness hits.

5. physique57. Where do I start with Physique?...it is so amazing. I started doing Physique57 during my junior year of college when both my mind and body were in dire need of a new, truly effective way to exercise. I researched the Physqiue57 method a lot before investing in the DVDs - I did not want to be disappointed! - and man, disappointment is the last thing to be associated with this workout.
The workouts are tough tough tough, no matter your fitness level, which makes it so awesome for everyone, even us pregnant ladies. The Thigh & Seat Booster DVD is the only segment of the DVDs left in my weekly workouts, but even that one, 30-minute workout is enough! I attribute so much of my pregnant body's health to Physique57. Love. (P.S. Physique 57 is soo effective. I cannot emphasize that enough!)

6. deep blue oil blend. This blend of essential oils is unique to DoTerra, and my Christmas wish this year is that everyone in the world will have a bottle of it at home. The oil is meant to aid sore, torn muscles, but it also relieves headaches - particularly migraines. When I was getting daily migraines during finals week, this was amazingly effective. All I did was rub a couple drops across my forehead and on my neck, lay down for a little nap, and voila! - the migraines left within an hour - each one of them. Whenever I have even the slightest tension in my head, I use this and am almost instantly relieved. And oh how grateful I am for that...you can't take a lot of medicine as a pregnant lady. Its peppermint, wintergreen scent is so relaxing, as well. I love this product.

Hopefully this list can help some other pregnant ladies, too (or those of you soon-to-be!). My pregnant life has been much much happier with them around. If you have an awesome pregnancy lifesaver or a product in general that boosts your heath and happiness - do tell in the comments. I still have 3.5 weeks to go, and I can only imagine that this last stretch is the biggest, tightest, squishiest, one of all...woohoo! Here we go!

DIY: recliner reupholstery

The old brown recliner had just the right amount of creek in its rock. It was soft and gushy. And it was free. How could we resist? 

Some friends of ours didn't have room in their new apartment for the chair, and we were the lucky ones chosen to be its new owners. My friend originally had a darker blue, more "boy-ish" slip cover on it, and for a while I thought we would use it, too, until we decided to be industriously creative: Ryan and I decided to reupholster that old recliner ourselves.

(P.S. We weren't in school, it would save us some money, we wanted a good, gender-neutral rocker for little babe, etc):

I researched how to reupholster furniture beforehand to get an idea of where to begin. YouTube was helpful for tutorials, and of course, I turned to Pinterest with this search: "diy recliner reupholster." That led to me this tutorial, which was helpful, but I thought I would document our experience and put it to its own DIY tune.

*Disclaimer: this project takes A LOT of time. It isn't too hard to do - it will take a ton of pulling out staples, pulling fabric into place, holding fabric in place, and stapling x1000 - but it takes time. And I HIGHLY recommend working on it with someone else, especially your strong husband. We spent about 30 hours total over a month-long period (summer vacays got in the way, and the Olympics, and other things that sounded more fun...), so give yourself some time to work this baby out.

Introducing, the tutorial!

Step 1: Gather materials

- staple gun (with a pack of at least 1000 staples - we really did use all 1,000!)
- hot glue gun (used for those tricky places where staples can't/shouldn't be seen)
- measuring tape
- at least 6 yards of sturdy fabric (we used just under 6 yards of a duck cloth canvas so that stretching and stapling would be easier)
- pliers for pulling off the old fabric and for pulling out old nails
- a 12 inch needle - or an old hanger, snapped in half! - for threading buttons back into your chair (if necessary)
- endurance, motivation, lots of desire, time time time, an amazing, handy-man husband - I would have not been able to do this without my Ryan

Step 2: Take pictures of the original chair
...of every part of the original chair. Do this throughout the entire process of taking it apart and putting it back together. You need the pictures as guidelines when putting the new fabric on and the parts back together.

Step 3: Tear that chair apart! 
Start by removing the back. Save any original hardware from the chair (screws, nails, etc.) and label the hardware parts both on the original chair, if possible, and on a sticky note that will stay with the piece of hardware until you put the chair back together. As you take the chair apart, remove the old fabric - remember, taking pictures of everything along the way!

Important note: Save the old fabric! Now please see Step 4.

Step 4: Cut fabric pieces out of new fabric
You should have "naked" pieces of the old chair all over your living room which is a good thing - you're half-way there! Use the old fabric pieces as patterns for the new pieces: just place the old fabric on the new, trace, and cut. It is quite easy, actually, to tell how to reupholster the chair and put it back together when it is in pieces - never fear! (P.S. be sure to iron your new fabric pieces before reupholstering them).

Step 5: Recover the chair pieces with the new fabric
If you're not-so-awesome like us, pull, stretch, and staple your fabric around the chair pieces. If you are so awesome like someone else out there, you will probably sew your fabric pieces together to, literally, fit the chair like a glove.

As first-timers (and because I'm not an awesome seamstress), we pulled, stretched, and stapled our fabric, and man we had a blast doing it! This project was hard, but it was so much fun to work on something together. Hard, sweaty work done with your husband is oh so good.

*I won't post our pics of every part of the process...that would make this tutorial way too long and very boring

the chair back, all wrapped up like a present

 the corner pleats on the chair back

one of the arms

Step 5.5 : Install buttons (only follow if needed, of course)

Cover the old buttons with your new fabric. Reattach the back of the chair to the seat. Using your needle, or homemade hanger-needle, push and pull the buttons through the back cushion. I found this tutorial to be helpful here (skip to 3:00). 

Here's our clothes-hanger-reupholstery needle. You can also buy the real thing, but we're cheap, remember? :) 

Step 7: Wipe the sweat from your brow...

High-five your man, then kiss him, sigh with relief, and have a seat. Now rock back and forth, back and forth...

The bill: 

Fabric (purchased on sale at Joann's) - $35

Pack of 1000 super-duty staples - $4

Package of hot glue - $4

Package of cushion stuffing, just to puff up the beauty a little more - $7

Reupholstery success, accomplished with your best friend - priceless, right?
Enjoy!

my pregnancy: the first 10 thoughts

week 36

This is my baby girl, Olivia.

She is so sweet and so fun to be with. 

I can say that because we have spent every day together during the last eight months. During that time, Olivia's little body has grown so much physically - which means mine has grown more :) And although my physical growth has been definitely substantial, my spiritual, mental, and emotional growth has been even greater.

Olivia has taught me that pregnancy isn't the terrible, awful, no good, very bad experience that I used to think it would be. Rather, carrying Olivia has taught me these 10 things about pregnancy (in order of what comes to mind first), with number one being this: 1) pregnancy can be so very good. 

2) Heavenly Father sincerely cares about my well-being as I help another one of His children have a body. He wants me to be happy and to enjoy the miracle of nurturing someone else with your whole heart and soul. 

3) That said, I've found that this promise is real and it works. 

4) Set goals. It's okay to have high hopes and desires for a healthy, happy pregnancy! I learned that it's okay to want to feel good about myself while pregnant. I decided to set some lofty goals for my pregnant self (like exercising every day), and goals we set for ourselves can be reached: please see number 5.

5) Praying about your hopes, dreams, and goals gives you these things that are vital to achieving a goal: desire to try, motivation to keep trying, and optimism when circumstances change. 

6) Exercising is amazing. Even though I now jog instead of run (although my "jogging" is the same as another woman's light walking), that time of moving, thinking, and breathing is relaxing and relieving. 

7) Stress is terrible. Any physical "ailment" I have had while being pregnant has been caused by stress. Example A: I had nasty migraines daily during my last finals week at BYU; I haven't been sick at any other time. Example B: last week I got an incredible cold sore as I let myself dwell on how much money a baby costs...I haven't had a cold sore for months. 

8) Yes, stress stinks. I have had to learn to let go of very many things - little worries and big ones - that I don't need to hold on to just to preserve Olivia and me - and Ryan (bless his heart!) from the awful thing called stress. 

9) Big changes that have come to my dear body are, actually, really good. I remember running one day when I suddenly felt how much my hips were jumping from side to side...whoa, I had never felt so large! But then I had to make myself think, "And yet, I am still moving! And bigger hips means bigger baby. Keep growing baby girl!" These were thoughts that I had to choose to think, but nonetheless, thinking them helped a lot. 

10) Although these eight months of pregnancy have been so happy overall, they have not been without moments of feeling very, very scared...my life is changing in ways I will never be able to perceive. But I have to remind myself of this: that is what I thought four months ago, when I didn't know how my life would be different when I was eight months pregnant, and guess what - now I am eight months pregnant and life is still good!

Yes, unknowns lay ahead and there is so much I can't see, but I have learned to trust: life will be good despite what is out of sight. Life can always be so very good. 

wedding day

 

July 29, 2011, was everything we hoped it would be: simple and beautiful. 

I am sure we'll be grateful for forever to everyone (and there were soo very many family members and friends) who made our wedding day dreams a reality.

(p.s. choosing which pictures to share from the thousands of our day was a challenge! Our wedding day was more than perfect!)

...

photos: mikki platt

invitiation & details: kortney eggertz

homemade ice cream & waffers: the shaw family

flowers: my sweet mother, aunts, & friends