inventory two: december edition

Blessing: our December world finally became a winter wonderland. Snow is so peaceful. It prompts me to be still. 

Oh how I have loved seeing my world in white. 

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Blessing: being home for the holidays. 

Having so many littles at home to be the center of our celebrations made this year especially fun. 

Grandma Susie gathered everyone in and around to reenact the Nativity Story our first night home, including Ryan's family. 

(sub-blessing: mine and Ryan's families are friends, our homes are within a mile of each other, and his littlest brothers play with my nieces and nephews. Hello, awesome)

Everyone loved it, except for the babe-wrapped-in-swaddling-clothes, Olivia. 

All she wanted was to sleep in heavenly peace. 

I love the story of our Savior's arrival into this world. I love that today children most often reenact the event. Nothing else better conveys that magnificence and majesty are found in simplicity. 

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Blessing: my baby girl is loved. 

And she is so happy. 

It is such a privilege to mother her...kisses to you, Olivia darling. 

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Blessing: my family here is an eternal one. The end.

We had the merriest Christmas and a beautiful year. 

I am bursting for what is to be.

Dear 2013, 

Be as good to us as your forbear, if you will.

I think that you will be, if not even more. 

You have incredible potential. 

Love the blessed, hopeful, and excited lady,

 Jeni

weeks 4 & 5

I am really, really grateful for hard days, nights, and even weeks - once they're over and I am one step away looking back at them from a distance. They add a lovely contrast to the light in my life, making the bright places stand out even more. 

Weeks 4 & 5: they have been wonderful - still hard at times, but wonderful. 

Olivia and I went running just twice. The weather was perfect and I couldn't resist because the cold is coming. Running with my baby's weight in the stroller instead of in my stomach was exhilarating - I felt like sprinting - and so I sprinted. 

Note: my short legs don't sprint, actually, but sometimes it's fun to pretend. 

I went crazy with a camera one day during Olivia's "wake time." How I love those baby faces. Sometimes I wonder if she ever feels out of control, all those muscles moving so spontaneously. Her arms and legs are the best - leg jerk here, fist pump there, squirms all around. As I watch her I wish I could remember what feeling is like for the first time, so that we had more to goo and gaa about. Luckily we have the sweetest eye contact and I swear she smiles back at me...

Olivia watched Ryan as Ryan watched the debate. 

My dear daughter, do you understand the potential you have for greatness? Look at those legs. They're in your genes, girl. You're already showing signs of being long and lean - your fingers and feet - they are long! They are just like Daddy's.

P.S. So glad you already adore him.

The contrasting stroke of the fifth week: getting mastitis. Yep. That mama right there is just half of the image of nastiness, thanks to antibiotics. 

The surrounding strokes of light: Olivia is healthy, she loves bath time, and she smells of Johnson & Johnson baby lotion every night (the most heavenly scent). 

Yesterday evening we walked to the temple to soak up more of fall before it completely fades. Can I just say that I'm so glad she is with me?...it's been nice to have someone with me to enjoy every part of every day. She listens to me think out loud, cry out loud, and sing out loud. I'm keeping her. For eternity.

 Dark shades amidst the light - it really is part of the beauty.

All is well.

our normal and different wednesday

normal: it's late Wednesday night and Ryan's just getting home from work

normal: Ryan looks good in his suit and tie, regardless of the late hour
normal: Jeni looks raggedy in her top-knot
normal: it's time for food again because we're both hungry
different: we photograph this seemingly insignificant occurrence of our not-so-flashy normal life

Last night's unexpected photo shoot of us simply eating cantaloupe together was the most spontaneous I've ever been with a camera, especially during our time thus far as just "Ryan and Jeni." As Ryan and I enjoyed our evening snack, I asked him if we could put the timer on the camera and "just take some pics?"

"Sure!" he said. And so we did. With the continuous timer set, we captured the normal fun that we have together which is why the pictures are neither pretty nor impressive, but they're real.

I think I wanted to document us for just a second in "normal life" because throughout the whole day I was feeling so different.

Examples:

Ryan bought his books for fall semester, and I didn't. For the first time in 14 years, I'm not starting school in late August because technically I'm no longer a student. I'm considered alumni...that's different.

Our OB gave us the very happy news that Olivia is making good progress toward delivery, but it hit me: Olivia is, um, really going to be here. Soon there will be another living, breathing, human around here with her own set of needs and dreams. AKA, I'm going to be "mom." That's going to be different.

It's still August and the leaves are already changing on our mountain - and they're changing quickly. Different.

Ryan and I will our mesh roles of husband-wife and father-mother. That will be wonderful, but we've never done that before, so that transition will be different.

But, then again, my heart said to my head as I thought about our pending changes, our simple life can still be pretty normal.

Examples:

Ryan will come home to us every day, which will be more exciting than Christmas morning. That feeling is oh so normal.

Even though I graduated, I haven't stopped learning. This summer has been largely spent satisfying many of my curiosities, and I have a lot more questions about how this works, how that works, how to do this, how to do that. I hope to always research my questions and learn new things. Life-long learning - for everyone, I think - is normal.

It's still August and I'm already wanting a little bit of Autumn around here: crisp air, beautiful color, apples, and pumpkin. Normal.

Olivia is already a part of our family. We know a little about her nature and we love love love her....adjusting to her the responsibility of satisfying her needs by us both as "mom and dad" will probably be much more normal than we think.

So serve us up some changes! We wouldn't grow otherwise. Yes, we'll take some big scoops of different flavors this season, but they'll be sprinkled with all that is not-so-flashy, normal, and wonderful about our life, and surely the whole mixture will end up tasting sweet.